Alright.

Sooooo... I give up. I know Im supposed to give up on a daily basis, but i forget... story of my life.

I cant do anything right the first time. I cant do this all alone. i know im not alone, but i make myself feel alone. but then all i want is to be left alone. but what i really what is someone to hold me and love me and tell me that i am not alone in what i do, that im not the only one feeling what i feel, and most of all, that it is going to be ok.

i can no longer seem to actually pass a class the first time... i feel bogged down, restless, useless, exhausted, fruitless, lost, frazzled, overwhelmed, confused, hurt, scared, lonely, and irritable.

i just want to be done... can i just get through this stage of my life please?? can i move on to the next thing? there are too many things happening at once and it all is so painful.

i dont have quite as much joy in the things i love so much. dancing, writing, learning an instrument.... i cant seem to move past the part that its all so frustrating to me. i just want to sit down and cry for hours on end. at least then i would feel better after.

what is happening to me?